YESTERDAY IN THE HISTORY OF WINNIE

 

I went to see the doctor.

 

Fuh…I didn’t know stepping into the college clinic would be so tough. I walked towards the clinic, turned left towards the cafeteria, turned back towards the clinic, walked passed it to the bookshop, turned around and walked back before I actually went into the clinic. Talk about doctor-o-phobia…

 

I was placing my expectations kinda low, but the whole clinic experience surpassed the lowest of my threshold with flying colours. When I went in, I walked towards the counter. Normally, that’s where people get registered and stuff, right? My first time ma…blur a bit… The lady sitting there was staring at this amazingly enchanting cicak just beyond my shoulder. It was so mesmerizing that she didn’t even make eye contact with me. I just stood there. 5 silent seconds later, she pointed to her left without letting her eyes stray from the cicak.

 

So, I walked to where she pointed, and ended up in the consultation room. I sat down. And look at the doctor. I said, ‘Good morning’. She paused………and said, ‘So?’

 

Wah lau…praise my patience. Is it a little too much to expect even a little courtesy and professionalism? You are a doctor, mind you…

 

I told her that I’ve been having cough for the past week.

 

And she asked. ‘So? Dry cough? Wet cough…?? Which one??’

 

??? Hello…lady…if I knew such stuff, I don’t have to be seeing you already ok? I can stop studying Psych and open my own clinic. It’s like someone taking Grade 1 piano, walking into a shop to buy a piano, and the salesman asks, ‘So? Grand? Baby grand? Harpischord? Clavichord? Digital? 88 keys? 85 keys? 2 pedals? 3 pedals? Which one???’

 

OKOK…so maybe I’m exaggerating a lil, but that was exactly how I felt.

 

And to top it off…

 

She asked for my ID number because I requested and MC. (Why did I do that anyway? I knew I was going to class…(??)) Students have 10 digit numbers, most of them starting from 1-0-0-0, and staff have 5 digit numbers starting from 1-0.

 

Mine is= 1000410862

 

So, I told her, ‘One thousand…’ and waited for her to write it down.

 

She wrote 1-0.

 

I repeated, ‘One thousand…’

 

She looked at me.

 

Fine…maybe her brain is so complexed that she can’t process simple numbers. So, I said ‘Zero…’

 

She wrote another ‘0’ behind the 1-0.

 

And I said, ‘Another one…’

 

…And then, there was light…

 

‘OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! You are a student!!!!!!!’

 

<Adui…> Wei…I was wearing jeans and t-shirt ok? If I were wearing a blouse and slacks, she can be forgiven, but jeans and t-shirt?? Hmph…something tells me I must do something about my complexion…

 

I’m never going back to the clinic. I’d rather call 999 and have an ambulance bring me to the hospital.