I totally hit the brakes last week. Full stop. I felt split into two. On one side, everything seemed to zoom past me, but on the other side, I felt that no thing and no one could keep up with me. I was frustrated. I took some things too seriously. And I neglected the rest. Tough~
On Thursday, after talking to a counselor, I was shaking my head in disbelieve. I had a hard time comprehending that what I thought was best for the rest and me was the thing that was making me sink into such problems. My own beliefs had to be changed. I didn't know how to make myself feel better. I didn't know what to change. For once, I was yearing for someone to tell me what to do because I didn't know what to do. I really hit the brakes and let everything else fly pass.
Someone hit the accelerator for me the very next day. Sometimes, I really don't know how I would exist here if not for some of my friends. One of them is truly special. He's the brother I never had. He knows what's best for me when I don't know it, and although at that moment I will rebel, I'll also realise later that it was the best option at the moment. He's also the only one who has dared to tell me to do something and I'd obey...because I trust him. Well, that was not the first time he hit the accelerator for me, but this one was the most significant so far. It made me think a lot. Well, there's nothing I can do to repay except to pray for him.
The next thing I know, someone else hit the brakes. The whole scenario is not as easy as it seems. 2 people hit the brakes at the same time. One of them seems to think that the other is the problem. Another...well...I'm not sure. It was then that I realised that although other people were in the process of hitting the brakes, they could still help to hit the accelerator for other people. How strong they are to be able to do that.
One thing that struck my heart was that people who seem close to each other are actually farther apart than they appear to be. If only we could sit down and be truly honest with one another...we would be able to solve what's bugging our inner most conscience. And be better friends and teammates.
Well...that's always something to work towards to. =)
Posted at 10:28 pm by
wei_ling
